Fear

So I have this completely irrational fear of the unknown. It seems to manifest itself in my everyday life. Now how to combat this so I won't ruin things?

Rob Thomas = Amazing

Listing....Again

Things I am Over

1.organic chemistry and science in general

2.fall semester junior year

3.spending my breaks doing work

4.not being able to run

5.hiding emotions

6.bipolar-ish people

7.chipotle burritos (although i will prob go there later this week)

8.writing/researching for my term paper

9.holidays

10.coming up with a 10th thing to say

101

So far this past year I have posted over 100 things about my life. So I guess this will serve as a summary.

1)I hate yet love my life.

2)I hate Penn/ school is hard

3)I am hopeless in some areas of life, but I am okay at that.

4)I always talk about taking chances but I seldom take them.

5)I have a love hate relationship with my family

6)I'm pretty passive agressive

7)I ____ a _____ _______ on _______.

8)I believe in myself

9)I love watching trashy television on VH1

10)I don't think there are 10 things I can say about myself

1 hour and 2 min

So as I'm writing this, I have 1 hour and 1 minute left until thanksgiving is over. So i think i've figured out what i am thankful for, my crazy sometimes psychotic somewhat dysfunctional family. To anyone I talk to, you have heard stories of my family and now that the above description is true. Despite the fact that sometimes I can't stand them and they annoy the living crap out of me, I still love them and want them in my life. Because honestly, they are the people who have been there for me the longest, and will always be there despite the fact I might screw up sometimes and not want to be around them. I know this is soo cliche....but it is true.

So happy turkey day...

Believe

So I think I finally believe in myself. This past weekend I ran a marathon. The thing is I told no one about this for fear of people saying, "oh you can't do that" or "you def won't finish". I know this seems depressing but I actually have "friends" like that. Then I ran into my friend on my way back from picking up my stuff, and he basically said he BELIEVED that I could do it. That night I decided to run the whole thing, despite only at the most running 12 miles. We basically motivated each other through the 26.2 mile trek, we opened up to each other, and learned a lot out about it each other (I mean we were together for over 5.5 hours). So it took completely exhausting my muscles/ destroying my knees/ the possible stress fractures to get me to believe in myself. At the finish line we both basically broke down crying. Not because we had just exerted ourselves for 5.5 hours but because we had accomplished something we did not think was possible. So, to Lemuel, thanks for your motivation throughout the whole race. I WOULD NOT have finished at all. Maybe it has been my negative energy that has been holding me down for so long. I need to change that right away, and I mean maybe I need to move away from the friends who are negative/ who I feel don't really care about anyone but themselves. However, for once, it was great having someone say that I could do it, and that I would succeeded, and completely squashing my negative energy.

I feel that running this marathon was one of the most defining moments in college so far. I know 30 years from now I will always remember yesterday. I also hope 30 years from now the two of us will still be friends and still be running marathons.

I now have a new running/ marathon buddy. I can't wait to heal up and get back to running. We will most def be running Philly again in 2010, along with the long distance run a few months before that, and possible another marathon before that.

Impossible is Nothing

I just ran the freaking Philadelphia Marathon...26.2 miles!!!!! Thanks to my friend Lemuel for keeping me motivated. Today proves that NOTHING is impossible. If I can run a marathon, anyone freaking can!

Lessons from Tomorrow

It is not the clothes that make you look fat, it is the fact that you keep putting that fork/ spoon loaded with food into your mouth.

I came to this conclusion while staring at my reflection in the mirror and noticing that I have a very unflattering figure due to the excess amount of bad for me food that I eat.

Lessons from Tonight

1.The flu is one of the top thing horrible things in the world

2.A plethora of cold medicines can cause hallucinations

3.Translating Arabic for an hour is as fun as having you toenails pulled out one by one

4.Some of the people you least expect are soulful and overall amazing

5.Three little birds can fix your day

Lessons From Last Night

My tolerance is no where near where it used to be. Only the Philadelphia police would respond to a noise complaint, considering a bijillion things worse than drunk and loud college kids, were probably occurring all over the city.